LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP-THE NEGATIVES AND POSITIVES

A couple of people find themselves in a long-distance relationship at a point in time in their life-time. Despite the fact that social networks do not list it in their sites, it does exist. It’s tricky and sometimes very difficult to deal with. Several people quit and lose their lovers. Hey! Let’s get into this kind of relationship:
THE NEGATIVES
1. You can’t see each other every day
Nothing beats live conversation, hugs, kisses and romantic moments spent together! Skype can make things a little bit easier because you don’t have to type – you can just turn your camera on, sit back, relax and chat. However, not even Skype can replace that wonderful feeling of knowing that your special somebody is just a phone call away. But, let’s look on the bright side – all this time you spend away from each other makes you appreciate those rare, special moments you actually get to share. So snap as many photos as you can and look at them whenever you feel sad or lonely.

2. Costs
Long distance relationships cost a lot. I know, I know, it sounds bad, but it’s totally true. I often say that meeting my fiancé is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Best, because I’ve never been happier and worst, because I’ve never been more broke. From transportation to phone and internet bills – everything costs more when you’re not living in the same place. If you’re both working, these things won’t have a huge impact on your relationship, but if you’re not, financial problems may destroy your relationship. Find a part time job and figure out a good savings strategy. A long distance relationship works best if you join forces so never say “My money” or “Your money” – split the costs and do everything you can to help each other financially.

3. Loneliness
You can’t call him and say, “Hey, can you drop by? I had a crappy day and I need to see you.” You can’t be there to comfort her when she’s going through a rough time. All this can be rather depressing and you’ll often feel sad and guilty for not being there for your significant other. You’ll feel lonely too. Especially if everybody around you have somebody to hang with. Yup, there will be days when your friends are out with their boyfriends/girlfriends and you have to sit at home knowing that she/he’s somewhere out there, having a crappy time too. Don’t let these feelings get you down, hun! Think about happy times, think about the future and your next meeting. Positive thinking is the key element in every long distance relationship.

4. Fears
“What if he finds somebody else?”, “What if he gets bored of waiting?”, “What if she’s cheating?”… Even the most confident ones will face some of the long distance relationship demons sooner or later. That’s why you have to make things clear right at the beginning and find different ways to express your love and show that your loved one is the only thing that keeps you going. Send him/her a text message when he/she is not expecting it. If you’re out partying call your partner to tell him how much you miss him and how much you wish he could be there to share this moment with you. These things count!

5. Misunderstandings
Different time zones, text messages, cultural or even language differences – being misunderstood or misinterpreting your partner’s words or actions is bound to happen sooner or later. Now, some of you may laugh or think these things are easy to sort out but, believe me, in a long distance relationship, a tiny misunderstanding can cause a great deal of trouble! Being “lost in the translation” is what at times ruins a relationship!
Don not be very quick to dismiss this or have cold feet. Here are the positives on the same...It could be your U-turn
THE POSITIVES

1. Individual Growth:

 The distance between you and your partner compels individuality. For many couples (although not all), being around each other daily leads to synchrony of personality and behavior. They do everything together, they finish each other’s sentences, and they act so much alike that it is hard to distinguish one personality from the other. Although this may seem cute at first, it has its downsides. There is little room for growth, and each individual is defined by their partner. In a long distance relationship, you have time to discover the person you are. You have time to think about your own values, your own goals, and your individual persona.

2.Strengthens Emotional Bond:

Society today is obsessed with sex; it is everywhere – on television and in the media. Talk shows and magazines today tell us that sex is the primary part of a relationship, and although it is important, it should not be the dominant force driving a relationship. There are numerous long-distance relationships that break off due to the lack of physical contact. This is sad, because it shows us that sex is often regarded as the glue that holds a relationship together.

The great thing about a long-distance relationship is that it can help strengthen the bond that goes beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourselves and about each other. A long-distance relationship fosters communication and trust-building. These two features are a must for any relationship. Being in a long-distance relationship can help strengthen these aspects, as more time and effort is spent on them, since each individual cannot be physically near each other.

3. Appreciation for the Moments Spent Together:

When you are around someone constantly, it can be easy to take them for granted. It’s easy for couples to get so wrapped up in their daily lives and schedules that they forget to value each other; they get into arguments and become caught up in problems that can lead to a break up. Such reactions can be heightened in moments of stress, such as in the aftermath of having a bad day at work. Of course, days like these are normal for anyone, but they can take a toll on a relationship, especially if they happen regularly. It is a sad truth, but sometimes being away from the person you love can be good for you. Distance teaches you and your partner the value of your relationship, as well as greater appreciation for the time you two get to spend together. You begin missing their laugh, their jokes, and their company. This is not bad; it just shows you how much you love your partner.

4. Tests the Love:

Sometimes it seems that those couples who spend the most time with each other have greater love, but this is not always true. There are couples who are close and spend all of their time together, but once something separates them (maybe one getting a job in a different state), they break up because they cannot handle the distance. This is heartbreaking, because they are willing to give up their love for the immediate security in staying close together. They neglect to see that they will be together again and could grow personally from the experience of being apart. A long-distance relationship can really test and challenge you and your partner’s love for each other. To be willing to spend days, weeks, or even months apart is a great accomplishment, and in the end, it can bring much happiness when you and your partner are reunited.

All in all, a long-distance relationship requires commitment from both you and your partner to work. It requires communication and trust. There will be rough patches, of course, but if each individual clearly knows the reason why they are in the relationship and recognizes their common goal to share life together, then the benefits of the outcome will outweigh the negatives. If there is a time in your relationship when you are feeling distressed, because you miss your partner, keep this wise quote in mind, “Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.